You get invited to a holiday event and think, yes, I will go.
But as the days grow near, you start looking for reasons not to go.
You may even get physically ill and vomit at the thought of going to this event even though you have met a couple attending...then the day before, you give up and decide not to go because of some reason in your mind.
Then after the event, you see the photos and wish you had gone anyway....
That is me, every day, every invite, every party. I have to force myself to go 90% of the time.
It's not personal, it is just the way I am.