Many of us were taught from infancy to always tell the truth and sometimes had to be taught how to tell the truth in love so we didn't hurt people's feelings.
I do my best to be honest with everything I say and do. When invited somewhere, I try to make my decision at that time and not be a last minute person. However, life happens and plans do change sometimes. That is not being dishonest, that is just life.
Sometimes we must make decisions for our sanity and well-being that others may question and completely not understand or take the wrong way.
I get invited places, and usually mark maybe until we get closer to the time of the event. I never know what that week will bring because of my COPD and/or family work schedules. I try to be thoughtful of others feelings as much as possible, but sometimes all I can do is bail at the last moment and stay home to take care of me.
It could be the drive, it could be the weather, it could be a thousand other things, but It is usually not personal or meant to upset anyone. It is simply the cards we are dealt and we have to handle the deck the best way we can.
I am tired of apologizing for who I am and the decisions I make. Don't attack me, ask questions if you truly have a reason, but if it doesn't effect you either way, please just leave it alone.
Like the saying goes - Not my Circus, Not my monkeys.. people that means just let it go.
Some people only 'love and appreciate you' when you are doing what they want/expect you to do. That is not love people, that is manipulation and control. Two things I lived with in my abusive marriages.
I will not put up with that or condone that no matter what. So I avoid those people to stay out of those situations. If someone verbally attacks you with snide remarks because of who you are with, find out their root cause if you wish, but usually it is best to walk away and distance yourself from them.
During this past year leading up to the recent election, many people were very nasty to each other and many friendships were severed because of hate-filled comments about the other candidates. I have heard horror stories of people in some cities and communities that are being maligned and mistreated because of their religious beliefs or way of life. That is not right to hurt another person. And you certainly won't get them to see your way of thinking by beating them up. You are only fostering hate.
My friend Faith said it best years ago, when she suggested that we try to speak truth in love. But sometimes even then you cannot have a civil conversation when someone is choosing to be adversarial and keeps an argument going on and on.
This year I have lost 2-3 friends out of the blue and I honestly am still not sure what triggered it. I miss them from time to time when I think of years past and all the conversations we had. I try to wish them well, say a prayer for them/their family and move on. By lost I mean they up and quit talking to me for apparently no reason that I could see.
I wish you peace and joy this Thanksgiving week no matter what you choose to you or spend the weekend with. Be at peace in your decisions and let no one make them for you.
If you are in danger, please ask for assistance!!
The number for the domestic violence hotline is 1-800-799-7233 and please keep it with you so you can share it if you see someone in possible danger. This is the beginning of the holiday season and abuse usually rises this time of year as does suicide. Please be aware and take care of those you hold dear.