Looking back over the past 2 1/2 years since I began sharing my story in this blog, a few things came to mind today.
Then (Fall 2013):
Just rejoined the workforce again having a full time job with the State of Tennessee
Ink was barely dry on the official divorce decree
I was diving headfirst into my business with a narrow minded focus
I was spending precious time with a couple of close friends and pushing everyone else away
I got to see my grandson Nikolai at least 3 times a week (if not every day).
I was very depressed and had to work at sticking to my goals and getting up and going every day.
My life was ruled by chaos moments caused by people in my life at that time
I spent a lot of time running from my home life then.
I felt like I was in everyone's way and wasn't sure if anyone cared if I lived or died
Now (Winter Spring 2016):
Just celebrated 20 years with State of Tennessee!
Happily enjoying every moment in a positive, supportive relationship!!
Just celebrated 13 years as a PartyLite consultant and having fun in that position again!
I spend my time with many friends from several parts of my life when I want to and no one judges me or tells me what to do!
I miss my five grandchildren terribly and part of that is my own fault because I don't want to barge in on them. (Praying hard on this one currently.)
I still fight depression at times but I don't let it win
I have several reasons to get up and go to work every day
I moved into a new place recently and have a positive home life and no one is controlling me anymore!
I joined another direct sales company last month to supplement my income and cannot wait to see where this journey takes me.
Every Day I wake up and go to sleep knowing I am loved!
I put all of this in writing not to brag but to show myself and others that making changes are very scary things.. No matter what the change is (address, bills, jobs, friends, even health habits or church attendance), it is scary at first. Keep praying and keep walking in the path you are on. When it is time to make a change, you will know without a doubt because it will all fall into place (and you will think "how did this happen?"), but know that God was working it all out in the background for you. Taking that leap is scary but staying in a place you despise is even worse.
Love each and every reader and friend out there. Keep dreaming, fighting and working toward your goals. You can do what ever you set your mind to!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Our God is in control!