Monday, March 7, 2016

Eyes Opened

I constantly analyze things, words, conversations and sometimes my eyes are opened to things that I never realized about myself or my past relationships.

This past weekend I realized how much my roommate's mood and attitude has rubbed off on me.
I came from a lifetime of abuse and lived chaos to chaos not knowing what I was walking into when I got home from work or errands on any given day. When you live with that for 30 years or so, it becomes your normal.

But since September of 2015, I have learned how it is to live with a kind person who doesn't put you down, doesn't criticize you and doesn't have a list of complaints about you or the house the minute he walks in the door.

This is huge to me. And another learning curve (or lesson) for me.

To know that nothing you do wrong, or how sick you are is going to push them away or embarrass them.. is huge.

I told him just this weekend how much I have learned from him because of his laid back way of handling things.

When I was married to both ex husbands, I do not recall a single person (friend or family) who suggested I get away from them. Not one person said a word about my safety until after I had left that person. And after leaving the 2nd husband, I still learn and hear about all of his affairs in the 11 years we were married.

Today I am happy, I am safe and someone has my back and means it. I don't have to wonder where they are, if they are going to disappear for days at a time or if they are going to even come home at night. I have learned to trust again.

Don't fault me for being happy and don't judge me for my life. Only God can do that and I know he will one day.

Only the Good Lord knows what is ahead for us in our time left together on this Earth, but I know it will be full of laughter and adventure even as we go through the day to chores of work and living.