Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Getting Away

Yesterday was a great day.

It was my one year anniversary of the first date with my sweetheart David.

We went to Nashville and had sushi at a favorite place of his and then drove to Percy Warner Park and spent time there enjoying the view from Lee's Summit and he told me stories about different places and things he did as a teenager when their family lived in Nashville.

Then we took the long way home and just enjoyed the scenic route.

It was a day to reflect and look forward and talk about vacation plans and just sit and enjoy the day. A day off together is a bit of a rarity for us and I believe we made the most of it.

We ended the day with tacos for dinner and watching NCIS.

Just enjoying being together was the theme and it totally worked for the two of us.

Do your best to find the joy in your daily routine. You can find joy and show love even in doing the most 'boring things'.  It is all in your perspective!

If you are in danger, call for help!
Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233
and the number for Safe Haven Cheatham County is  615 681 5863

Monday, March 28, 2016

Emotional Roller Coaster

Last week was really difficult for me emotionally. I had 2-3 days where I woke up covered in a blanket of depression and had to work really hard to get out from under it Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

Right now, I am still not sure what triggered it. Perhaps memories or dates I was supposed to remember in a past portion of my life.

The point is, I got through it. It was not easy and I am sure I drove some people nuts with my moodiness and all last week. I alternated listening to praise/worship music and reading devotionals to push my thoughts where they needed to be. And I had a great work friend who listened too!

My nephew turned 2 on the 24th and he is an adorable little boy who keeps my sister on her toes.

As Easter approached, I remembered dyeing Easter Eggs with my kids when they were small and was overcome with a case of "missing them" on Saturday afternoon.

Easter was always a Sunday on the road for most of my growing up years. The only differences I recall from other Sunday's was that we had a new dress and shoes and got a basket with a chocolate bunny inside.

Now my sisters and my daughter have created  a tradition of an egg hunt and cookie decorating at my mom's or my sister's home. Since their collective children range in ages from 6 months to 11 years of age, it is a great holiday idea for them to get together.  I do love seeing the pictures they post and the joyful times they have together.

My son and his wife are on a business trip right now and once they return home to Utah later this week, they will do Easter with their three children all at the same time. I hope to see pictures of that when it happens.

We had a quiet Easter at David's brother's house yesterday and the brothers and Todd's son Bill played a game of HORSE and I even got some pictures of that. Because they live out in the country, I took my regular camera and made pictures that way because my phone rarely works out where they live.

I do love my life that I have been blessed with and I am doing my best to stop all complaining and sad thoughts as they come my way.

God has been so good to me, that I dare not complain. 
Take care of yourself and love on those around you. You don't know how long you will have them by your side.

Monday, March 21, 2016

When Life Changes Gears

For many of the past 13 years, I have had a goal sheet in my purse or wallet.
The goals were for my business and for my personal life.

About 6 months ago, I stopped carrying a goal sheet around and wrote down specific prayers for my life, my home, my finances, my children/grandchildren and my business.

Guess what?
Nearly all of the prayers have been answered!
God showed up in a mighty way every day and I have so much to be thankful for!

But in the business world and my upline, they find it hard to believe I have changed goals and gears so much. I can't put into words what I want to explain to them. I just know that selling and booking parties is no longer the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.

 My home based business with PartyLite provides extra money when I need it and a fun outlet with lifelong friends I initially met as hosts or customers in the past few years.

Have I changed my focus? Well, my life has taken many turns in the past year and I am happy for all of the improvements and changes in my life. Adventure is definitely part of my life these days with such a positive minded person as my partner. So yes, My focus has changed.

I look forward to planting a container garden of peppers, and tomatoes this spring and we are planning a trip to get away from home for a few days too. Happy goals that doesn't include stress or being up all hours of the night trying to figure it out.

It is time to live and love!
Join ME!

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Begging is wrong

We see it every day and it annoys the heck out of me.

I have worked hard most of my life and just don't understand why people get on social media and ask others to make them cupcakes or dinner and bring it to them.

With the internet and google, most can ask google or siri to find them a recipe in less than 2 minutes and they can go into their own kitchen and prepare the food.

When I was sick last week, I didn't ask anyone on facebook to bring me soup or do anything for me other than to pray. My boyfriend made us soup, did the grocery shopping and we took care of each other during the days we both were sick.

One friend offered to bring soup, essential oils or anything I might have needed but I didn't want her to risk getting sick, so I declined.

Please understand that I am not referring to the legitimate Go fund Me pages for those with health issues who have astronomical bills to pay for.

 I am talking about the able bodied folks who want their money reimbursed cause they blew their paychecks on lottery tickets or they are refusing to work and want a handout. When a person posts a gofundme page asking for folks to help them pay for dance lessons... that completely turns me off and makes me wonder if they honestly think that is a need.

You can ask my children Kourtney and Brian, As a single mom for more of their lives when they would ask for something, most of the time, I would come back with the words, "Is that a need or a want?" and that forced them to use their brain and work it out or talk it out.

So check yourself before you go begging to others please.

And, if you were not invited to the office party, don't go over there at clean up time begging for a piece of cake, that is not cool either. Our cleaning lady is always asking for something or the leftovers when we have office parties and it gets more and more ridiculous every time she does it.

Monday, March 7, 2016

Eyes Opened

I constantly analyze things, words, conversations and sometimes my eyes are opened to things that I never realized about myself or my past relationships.

This past weekend I realized how much my roommate's mood and attitude has rubbed off on me.
I came from a lifetime of abuse and lived chaos to chaos not knowing what I was walking into when I got home from work or errands on any given day. When you live with that for 30 years or so, it becomes your normal.

But since September of 2015, I have learned how it is to live with a kind person who doesn't put you down, doesn't criticize you and doesn't have a list of complaints about you or the house the minute he walks in the door.

This is huge to me. And another learning curve (or lesson) for me.

To know that nothing you do wrong, or how sick you are is going to push them away or embarrass them.. is huge.

I told him just this weekend how much I have learned from him because of his laid back way of handling things.

When I was married to both ex husbands, I do not recall a single person (friend or family) who suggested I get away from them. Not one person said a word about my safety until after I had left that person. And after leaving the 2nd husband, I still learn and hear about all of his affairs in the 11 years we were married.

Today I am happy, I am safe and someone has my back and means it. I don't have to wonder where they are, if they are going to disappear for days at a time or if they are going to even come home at night. I have learned to trust again.

Don't fault me for being happy and don't judge me for my life. Only God can do that and I know he will one day.

Only the Good Lord knows what is ahead for us in our time left together on this Earth, but I know it will be full of laughter and adventure even as we go through the day to chores of work and living.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Make the Change!

Looking back over the past 2 1/2 years since I began sharing my story in this blog, a few things came to mind today.

Then (Fall 2013):
Just rejoined the workforce again having a full time job with the State of Tennessee
Ink was barely dry on the official divorce decree
I was diving headfirst into my business with a narrow minded focus
I was spending precious time with a couple of close friends and pushing everyone else away
I got to see my grandson Nikolai at least 3 times a week (if not every day).
I was very depressed and had to work at sticking to my goals and getting up and going every day.
My life was ruled by chaos moments caused by people in my life at that time
I spent a lot of time running from my home life then.
I felt like I was in everyone's way and wasn't sure if anyone cared if I lived or died

Now (Winter Spring 2016):
Just celebrated 20 years with State of Tennessee!
Happily enjoying every moment in a positive, supportive relationship!!
Just celebrated 13 years as a PartyLite consultant and having fun in that position again!
I spend my time with many friends from several parts of my life when I want to and no one judges me or tells me what to do!
I miss my five grandchildren terribly and part of that is my own fault because I don't want to barge in on them. (Praying hard on this one currently.)
I still fight depression at times but I don't let it win
I have several reasons to get up and go to work every day
I moved into a new place recently and have a positive home life and no one is controlling me anymore!
I joined another direct sales company last month to supplement my income and cannot wait to see where this journey takes me.
Every Day I wake up and go to sleep knowing I am loved!

I put all of this in writing not to brag but to show myself and others that making changes are very scary things.. No matter what the change is (address, bills, jobs, friends, even health habits or church attendance), it is scary at first. Keep praying and keep walking in the path you are on. When it is time to make a change, you will know without a doubt because it will all fall into place (and you will think "how did this happen?"), but know that God was working it all out in the background for you. Taking that leap is scary but staying in a place you despise is even worse.

Love each and every reader and friend out there. Keep dreaming, fighting and working toward your goals. You can do what ever you set your mind to!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Our God is in control!

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Reasons to Pray

After seeing yesterday's Super Tuesday results, I am very frightened for the USA and our future.

I have always heard and believed that we should pray for our leaders and the decisions they make. However, right now, with the candidates for US President we currently are faced with, we as a country seriously  need to consider who we are putting into the White House.

I do not believe one singular person can change the country, they may influence change, but they do not make the changes, because congress has to make the changes - all those people in Washington have to work together to get things changed.

Remember to pray for our country, our leaders, our churches and our pastors/their spouses/families and our soldiers.

Pray for those you love
Pray for those who have hurt you
Pray for your children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren and others you know
Pray for yourself to see the best in others
Pray for those that judge you
Pray for reconciliations if you need those in your life
Pray for your business, commissions and future income

Pray without ceasing and remember that no prayer request is too small or too large.