There was a time in my life when I was ruled by the emotion(s) I woke up with. Fear, Loneliness, Depression, Not being good enough...there are way to many to name here.
Last week, many of us were looking forward to the weekend and hoping the forecast for more snow/ice here in Middle TN was not true. My friends to the north of TN got enough to make things messy and dangerous.
Many were also looking forward to a Valentine's celebration with their sweethearts (and /or family).
My family got word on Friday that my grandmother's heart was slowing down and the doctors generously said she had 24-48 hours to live. She passed from this life around 3:30 on Friday afternoon. The funeral was held on Sunday at 2 p.m. in the town she lived in most of her life.
She was truly an example of the virtuous woman spoke of in the Bible. She will be missed by all of us in different ways.
I found myself sad for not being able to tell her goodbye and that I loved her one more time. I also found myself concerned for my dad and thankful that he was between chemo treatments enough that he was able to be at the visitation and funeral services this weekend.
Today I am at work (the state was off on Monday for President's Day) and purely going through the motions because I am still sad, the loss is still sinking in and I am doing my best to focus on work and not burden my true friends who keep checking on me.
In my lifetime, I have battled and sometimes gave in to the depression that loves to hover over me. I don't want to live my life that way. I do my best to put on my smiley face and face the world and be positive as possible.
So, I cannot guarantee that I will be super positive or happy go lucky for a while. As my dear friend Denise just reminded me, this is a season and all seasons do pass by eventually.
What I do intend to do this week is focus on what I can do with my hands, get some work done, and choose wisely who I allow in my life in the future.
I have found that when I focus on caring for someone else, I often forget my own battles for a time. Who can you care for and lift up in your troubled time this week?
All of us are fighting a battle, so continue to be kind and not find fault.
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