Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Show Love Always

I believe in being as kind as possible even when you have to correct someone or give them bad news.

I have had bosses in the past that were rude, hateful and mean as can be. These folks thoroughly enjoyed calling me out with a mistake in public, in staff meetings and even threw me under the proverbial bus to outside business owners when I goofed up. This made me very distrustful of supervisors that were strong-willed women.

There is a time and place for correction and I believe that it is best done face to face if possible or in private communication if there is no way to do a face to face.

Even when you disagree with someone you should have the heart of Jesus and show that person kindness through whatever is going on.

This is very difficult to accomplish in a separation and/or divorce situation and even the custody issues that sometimes follow.

 I know for me personally, I tried over and over to reach my ex-husband to tell him calmly that the divorce papers were on the way back in 2013. He ignored my calls and emails so then a month later when they arrived at his address he told me that he was surprised I moved so fast on filing the papers.  Looking back, I guess he honestly didn't believe I would follow through with my appointments or file for the divorce.  I had been through enough and I no longer wanted to be connected to him. 

Thankfully by the time the papers were filed, it was all a matter of formality because we had stopped living together the previous year and he had very quickly found someone else to pay his bills and care for him.  I still pray for him to find peace and for him to be okay. I do not wish him any harm of any kind. We were married 11 years on paper and most of that time we lived together. You cannot spend that much time together (in spite of the affairs and money issues) and not care for someone on some level. I was told many times I cared too much and put up with too much. Yes on both counts I suppose I did, but I was afraid to live alone or that I would end up homeless.

I make daily mistakes and I still offend people when I had no intention to do so. I am very abrupt and to the point at times and that comes off as harsh.  I apologize to people a lot and I am still learning every day how to forgive others and forgive myself for my mistakes.

I am so thankful for those that have shown me unconditional love when they really had no reason to. Those are the ones I count as blessings every night when I go to sleep. My church family at Covenant Church in Burns, TN has shown me love in so many ways.  They accepted me and have stood with me, sat with me and prayed with me through a pretty rough 2 1/2 years. I hope to be able to give back and bless others by helping them and sharing my story of triumph through Christ one day.

I will not judge anyone by the name on a church building, I only suggest that those in hurtful situations find a Bible believing church that is accepting of divorced women/men and single parents. If the congregation and pastor has a heart for those things, then you will find a place to grow and worship that you truly enjoy.

If you are in a dangerous immediate situation, please call 911. If you need assistance or suggestions for a difficult marriage or living situation, please call 1-800-799-7233 and a friendly voice will be happy to help you and listen.