Friday, January 30, 2015

No Grey Areas Here

Ever heard the phrase "Garbage In, Garbage Out"?  It is so very true.

The world today seems very accepting of so many things that are against God's Word that sometimes people think what they are doing is okay even when they have an unsettled feeling in their spirit.

That unsettled feeling is a warning sign my friend. Take heed lest ye fall and then you find yourself deep in the grip of something evil that takes years to get away from.

There is a movie coming out in theaters in 2 weeks that many women have been looking forward to for a while now.  The movie is based on a set of 3 books in a series most refer to as 50 Shades of Grey.  I have not read the books and I won't be reading them. I have seen and heard enough about the trilogy when I worked in a book store that I know I want nothing to do with them.

Society is referring to the story of bondage, abuse and control as a love story taken up a 'notch'.  This makes me sick to my stomach because that means that so many of our young people read those books and will see the movie as some romantic notion of what love is supposed to be.  These books are pornography and should not be sensationalized.

I used to watch soap operas and read historical fiction romances. It was a fairy tale that took my eyes off of God and his will and what He wanted for my life.  It twisted my thoughts and I am glad I broke free from that addiction as well. To me, an addiction is anything that consumes you to the point that you lose a sense of reality.  Even sports fans can take their 'love of sports' too far. It is surely a slippery slope.

There are so many movies, shows that twist the reality of what love and marriage is supposed to be that even Christians get confused at times.  The lifetime channel has so many movies where the woman is abused and that is very sad to me.  Being abused is NOT the norm for anyone (male or female).

When we put our focus on the Bible, worship music, praise and things of the Lord, we will not have time to read the trash that comes out of Hollywood or some of the publishing houses. 

Choose instead to read your Bible, books from Christian authors, Christian motivational books and many other resources.  Listen to and read things of God and you will get closer to his will and his ways more than you ever imagined. Stay Positive and Share your positivity with others.
Be a light in this dark world!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Nothing to Say

Ever have a moment when you have nothing to say?

This happens when I hear something that saddens me and I cannot find the words and when I hear news that shocks me (which is hard to do anymore).


The following people are on my mind today:

Today in Phoenix my friend Heather sits in a waiting room while her granddaughter has surgery to repair her intestines.

Here locally in Tennessee another friend just lost her father.  

In Georgia a friend's husband has a job interview.

I feel helpless and don't even have the words to say other than I will pray for you. I know that I can go to God in Prayer asking for him to watch over and bless/comfort every family I mention and he will take care of it.

I do not have the fancy words to say all the time but I have learned in the past 2 1/2 years that God knows what is in my heart and He knows what I mean and who I am referring to. Nothing happens on this earth that He is not aware of and nothing we mess up is a surprise to him. 

Just remember to pray about everything, from your paycheck, job, families, church, minister, supervisor and even the people that drive you nuts, Please pray about everything and seek God's guidance. He won't steer you wrong if you take the time to listen to his guidance.

Always take care of yourself and don't go back to an abuser. You got away and be thankful for that. Stay the course and stay strong. Seek help through support groups, your church and healthy friendships.  1-800-799-7233 is the Domestic Violence Hotline should you need assistance.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Use your Auto-Pilot Sparingly

Do you live your life on "auto-pilot" or "survival mode"?   

I used to and sometimes still revert back to that habit because it gets me through a rough day or time.  I use it on those days when I am struggling to smile on the outside because I am crying and grieving on the inside.

There are times when my auto-pilot shuts down and that is when sickness hits or a major stress point arrives in my pathway.

I live with a chronic illness and have been dealing with this illness since 2001. I never let it stop me, however, there are times when it definitely interrupts my life and plans.

I have found ways to manage it and get through the days.  So most of the time, I don't think about it because it is just part of who I am in 2015. I refuse to let that stop me.  I cannot stop living because of an illness. I chose to adjust things in my life, avoid certain foods and keep an eye out for triggers that could make it worse.

I have been struggling this month to keep my auto-pilot in working order because it is January in Tennessee and sickness/illness is everywhere.  I have armed myself with several preventative measures to keep the illness at bay, but I also know that I am highly susceptible to the germs around us every day. 

Since Wednesday night I have been under the weather as they say and not my usual self. If you have friended me on facebook, you have probably noticed that I was not online interacting very much and now you know why. 

Today I got out (with the help of my dad) and took my car in for service and then I returned home and went back to bed.  I will recover, I always do, because God is taking care of me and I am doing all I can here to do my part to stay healthy and get better.

I say all of this to tell you that having an auto-pilot is not a bad thing because it helps you do things you don't feel like doing and keeps you going.  Just don't live on auto-pilot because after a while, it can get depressing and that is a rut I don't want any one to live with.

Keep going and don't give up.
Take care of yourself, your dreams are waiting for you to earn them! 
I believe in you no matter where you may be.
Someone believed in me a long time before I believed in myself.

Call 1-800-799-7233 for assistance and 911 if you are in immediate danger. A new domestic violence shelter is opening in Cheatham County and if you are so moved, please look them up and donate to them if you can. Here is the link to their facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Safehavenofcctn



Tuesday, January 20, 2015

No Comparison

Over the past 5 days I caught myself comparing myself to others in many ways. I know that we as Christians only have one ruler to live by and that is the New Testament.

 I am Single, yet I am part of many groups, a few are:
My Church
My Family
My Friends
My Co-workers (TWRA and PartyLite)

This list could go on for a while if I wanted to bore you to death, but I will stop here.

I learned from other leaders in PartyLite this weekend their tips and tricks for sales, sponsoring and building a great team. I learned incentives and contests ahead for our company and many things that were useful to bring back to TN for my growing team here.

I came home overwhelmed with all the work ahead of me to achieve the goals I chose to set for myself. I crossed off nearly every item on my to do list from Sunday by today at lunch time.  So do I feel successful?  Well... Not really. I did the action and that is success in itself because it builds a great habit but I am mentally and physically exhausted.

During the weekend event, I felt empowered and energized to do more and reach higher goals, but at the same time, I felt out-classed, out-numbered and out of place.  I felt stupid asking questions because there are so many new things coming at me.  I love being in a position to help others and truly make a difference but I am on a huge learning curve and fear I will not catch on fast enough.

I heard many other consultants and leaders talk about going home to their spouses and children.  That was when my heart hurt. I had none of that to welcome me home. I had no one waiting anxiously to hear about my trip.  Wait... let me clarify...

A dear friend of mine met me at a local hangout for a meal on Sunday and that was a blessing to me because she cared enough to drive 40 minutes to see me once I arrived home.

Then I received 2 text messages from my church family checking on me asking how my trip was going and that they would see me at Wednesday services.  Those messages blessed me because I have never had a church family quite like the one I have right now.

Being divorced and single at 44 is a rude awakening and I often do my best to stay out of people's radar or way. I don't want to be a pest, be needy or bother them while they are out living their lives and taking  care of their families, etc.  So I Hide in plain sight or in my office doing work to pass the time.

I say all of these things to bring a bitter truth to light. I have earned a new title but I am still the same person on the inside, just a few more jobs to do. I am still a struggling Christian trying to figure out how to get along, pay my bills and stay out of folks way while helping other men/women get out of dangerous home situations by sharing my personal story.

We all are broken, but by being broken we can learn to truly live and we will continue to make mistakes, fail forward and learn along the way.

Join me today in reminding yourself that the only person we are to compare ourselves to is Lord Jesus and his Word. Nothing else matters. No matter what I earn or what title I achieve on this Earth, God blessed me with it and I did not earn it without his blessing and favor.

Matthew 19:26 - But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. (KJV)

If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek a way out. You are in control no matter what the abuser might have told you. 1-800-799-7233 is the Domestic Violence Hotline or call 911 for immediate danger issues.

If this blog has helped you please share it on twitter, facebook and other forms of social media. I completely appreciate your support!

Monday, January 19, 2015

Traveling & Baggage

We all are on a journey.

I was reminded this past weekend just how much our daily lives are mirrored when we travel. Modern travel includes online reservations, following the TSA rules to get through security and then waiting your turn to board the plane. Patience must be part of the process or you will soon be a very unhappy traveler.

I usually check my luggage so that all I have on the plane is my purse and laptop bag. This trip we chose to not check our bags. 

Lesson Learned! I will continue to check my bags on future flights so I am not having to carry everything with me through every airport.

 It's a lot like leaving your opinions at the door when you visit someone who lives very differently than you. If you want to stay friends, you have to know when to say something and when to keep your mouth closed and opt for other topics.

This is a lot like growing up, forgiving others and moving on as well.  As humans we tend to carry our life story with us and our history does shape who we are but we must not dwell on it every day. We should celebrate the new victories and the bright horizon ahead of us. 

I encourage you to travel and take as little baggage as possible so you can truly enjoy your journey!  Stay safe in all that you do and always have a kind word for others on your pathway. Everyone needs a hand up sometimes, and you never know if your experiences can help them have perspective that never occurred to them.  Be a joy to be around

If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek a way out. You are in control no matter what the abuser might have told you. 1-800-799-7233 is the Domestic Violence Hotline or call 911 for immediate danger issues.

If this blog has helped you please share it on twitter, facebook and other forms of social media. I completely appreciate your support!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Feelings, Pain and Honesty

I told someone in PartyLite 18 months ago that I gave them permission to be honest with me to push me toward my goals that in the past I had only talked about and never really took action.

I should have put on a coat of alligator skin.  It was hard to swallow at times because the truth hurts. When someone is coaching you and telling you how to do something, you have to trust they know the steps to take.  You may not like what they say, but if you want to reach that goal and truly learn, then you better take notes and take some action or it is all words.

We all have feelings and get them hurt from time to time when we  see others achieve something we didn't (aka jealousy or envy).  We can choose to cheer for them or sit and pout in a corner or at the end of the table to get folks attention.

I made a decision last year not to attend anyone else's pity parties.  Yes, I still have times where I feel sorry for myself, get angry cause I didn't hit the mark or goal, but I get up and Keep Going. I don't usually stay 'down' very long.

I have worked hard to achieve my goals in 2014 and I expect those on this journey with me in life and in business to dig down and work hard right along side me. 

God expects us to work hard for the kingdom and to do every job we do as if he were our supervisor. It is a very true statement because everything should reflect our faith.  A person walking in love will not deliberately say hateful things to another.  I do my best to see the best in people, and sometimes it is difficult to see a glimmer. 

At the end of every day, I hope that I have done the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time.  I choose to learn every day and hope that I have not hurt anyone.  Honesty can be painful if folks are not used to hearing it.  So, Speak to others with love and even when you have to reprimand someone, check your words. 

Have a wonderful weekend my friends! I am off to a Hostess Appreciation at a local restaurant to celebrate our 2014 achievements and say thank you  to those that keep my team and I in business.

Want to know more about my business? E-mail me at mlcandles23@gmail.com or browse the website at www.partylite.biz/nevergiveup

Friday, January 9, 2015

Clean Cut

Do you have a clean cut from your past?

It is much easier to walk away and not look back with a clean cut and clear boundaries with those you no longer want to associate with.

This is not easy to achieve. I have struggled with this for years. I tell them it is over and then months later, their memory creeps into my mind or I see something online or in the store that reminds me of them.

Please for your own sanity and survival, don't reach back to that person or persons. Stay the course you are on and look forward.  Think of this like a car. Your windshield is bigger than your rearview mirror. That should tell you that you are to focus on the things ahead rather than the things behind you.

The only reason to look back is to see how far you have come along the way.

I applaud your journey forward even if you only see baby steps. Even one step on your journey for YOU is a huge milestone in your life.  What you see as a baby step could be a huge leap for another person.

Choose to be BOLD in 2015 and do something for yourself! God made each of us for his glory and for his purpose. If you don't know your purpose, then ask God what he would have you do. Then wait on the answer. He will answer you and be sure you are listening for the still, small voice.

Here are a couple of quotes for each of us to reflect on - I hope it blesses you. It truly spoke to me!