I am single, that is not a secret. I have been single (according to the judicial system) for just 15 months. I have lived without a spouse since May of 2012. It has been rocky at times, but every time I was on the verge of sinking and not being able to pay my bills the Good Lord has blessed me with a way to pay my bills and have a roof over my head. I owe him everything.
Someone told me Sunday morning I looked lonesome and it struck me that I do not feel lonesome, quite the contrary, most of the time I feel FREE!
You see, I am free to work where I want, have a second job (home based business), drive where I want to drive, visit who I want to visit and I don't have to report to anyone on this earth where I am going or how long I will be there. That is freedom!!
I choose to let my parents know If I have a show after work so they don't worry. I choose to keep others in the loop who may need to reach me from time to time. But these things are my CHOICES.
Recently I was speaking to a friend and told her it would be nice to have a guy friend to talk to sometimes. So she introduced me to someone she trusted and knew. Boy, was I nervous about talking to this guy online much less meeting him face-to-face.
This guy seems to be a nice guy and a gentleman even that works, loves football and takes care of business. But after 2 weeks of him messaging me every day to see how I was doing or what I had going on, I had enough and had to cut off the relationship. No, I never went on a date with this person because we only spoke via facebook messenger or a few text messages. It was overwhelming to me.
I realized very quickly that I am NOT ready to be in that kind of relationship where someone wants to know every piece of my life. To me, it was way to invasive for where I am emotionally and mentally these days.
I do not have a timeline laid out for my plans to re-enter the land of relationships and/or dating. I just know that I will NOT seek after it at this point in my life. I truly believe I need this time to be alone and seek God over anyone else.
So, when you see me at my local hangout sitting alone, don't feel sorry for me. Instead, pull up a chair and chat with me, smile and even encourage me to keep doing what I am doing.
Enjoy where you are and who you are with right now for you never know when it will all change! Be a blessing every day to someone somehow.
If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help to get out of the situation.
Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233
or call 911 if you are in immediate danger.