Saturday, November 1, 2014

Behavior

Most adults learned the way to act and interact with their peers and supervisors back in their elementary school days when they were taught right from wrong from their teachers and hopefully their parents at home.

Some adults never learned the lessons and are obnoxious, rude and still misbehaving today to everyone they come in contact with and they blame it on their childhood because they refuse to change.

As parents you have a responsibility to teach your child right from wrong and what is allowed when interacting with other children and adults on a daily basis. This should be taught as soon as they start talking and interacting with you.  If you wait until they start school, the lessons will be taught but it is NOT the responsibility of that teacher to teach your child how to behave, they are there to share education with your child.

I am simply a mom and former GS leader who has seen more than her share of children and young people who just don't behave and it always makes me sad. I was made fun of for all the rules I had in place for my 2 children and was constantly told I was 'too hard' on them and I should back off some.   In my time of reflection, I see so many mistakes I made with them, but I do see them for who they are and can relax now knowing I did the best I knew to do at the time I was raising them.

If your child or grandchild can walk, talk and interact with others (children or adults) then please teach them these basic manners:
1) Never interrupt adults when they are talking
2) Sit still
3) Speak clearly (no mumbling). I had a rule that when they mumbled, I walked out of the room and still to this day, if I hear mumbling on the telephone, I hang up.
4) Never demand things of others, Ask instead (they will get farther with a question).
5) Sit in your own chair. Sitting and crawling over your siblings and parents is very distracting and there is an age where I feel this must be enforced.
6) Do not teach the child to use their 'label' to get away with things or to seek their own set of behavior rules.
7) Do not touch a child smaller than you unless you have permission of the parent. Consider others before yourself.
8) Only take one serving, you do not need more than one cookie at a time.
9) Clean up your own messes and when visiting a friend,  you don't leave them with a messy room or table, you help them clean it up before you leave.
10) Take turns without complaint.

This list is pretty short and somethings on here may not be considered manners to you, but these are what I have come up with over the past few years.

Regarding #6 - I have many friends with children that are considered special needs or labeled in some way.  So I offer these examples and explanation because I have seen all points on the spectrum in regards to behavior and it really saddens me personally.

Some of these children and young people are the calmest and well behaved people you will ever come across because their parents chose to teach them how to behave no matter their condition.  Just because you are confined to a wheelchair does not give you the right to run over other people's feet and backtalk adults. I also know of a 4 year old that is calm and quiet who asks permission to enter your room and if they can see what you are doing. I know her mom and dad worked very hard to teach her manners and it shows in their daughter's behavior.

There is a time and place for the children to rip and romp and run and that is outside on a playground, not inside a school, workplace or place of worship.

This article has been on my heart for over a year and I finally got my words in order to share it with my readers. I do not mean to offend anyone, just sharing information and praying you take the information here as it was meant.

I personally applaud anyone who has the time and effort to spend and work with children on a daily basis. When my troop dissolved in 2005, I walked away from working with children and after 9 years, I am choosing for the good of the children and my own sanity to stay out of children's activities. Sometimes I really miss the times and fun with my GS troop, but I have gotten older and lost all my patience I apparently had back in those days.

Please share this with those that you believe would benefit from it and call for help if you need it. 911 for life threatening emergencies and the hotline at other times 1-800-799-7233.