Monday, October 13, 2014

Safe Haven

If you believe that all the people you know are happy and relieved to go home at the end of the day, you are very naive.

1 in 9 people are abused by people they live with. Every 4 minutes someone in the world is being abused in some way.

Safe Haven to me means a person can go home without being questioned about their whereabouts or activities.

My first husband rarely let me out of his sight. If I was not with him, I was suspected of spending money or seeing someone he did not approve of. He did not even want me spending time with my sisters or parents during parts of our marriage.  If I spoke to his side of the family, it was even worse. He feared me telling them the truth about our life overseas and I was so scared, living in fear and young that I didn't tell anyone for many, many years. Walking on eggshells around your spouse or a family member is no way to live your life. There is certainly no joy in that kind of daily living.

There were years of my life where going to work gave me purpose and a place to rest from the home life in many ways my co-workers never understood. I was a single parent struggling to pay the bills and often kept myself and the children busy so that I did not have that down time to focus on what I did not have. It was how I survived those years and the only thing I knew to do at the time.

Today at 44 I am one of the few single Christian women at my church. I don't know if I will ever seek another relationship because I am so scarred. I do enjoy my peace and know that I don't ever want to let this go.

If you are reading this and have no safe haven, I pray you find one for your own sanity. God did not intend for you to live in fear.  Get with a trusted friend and ask for help.

Call your local YWCA for assistance or the Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 to get the help you need for you and your children.