Over the past 4-6 months I have watched situations unfold in my extended family that I cannot change or directly help in any way.
My hands are tied in ways that I cannot explain. One evening at church when it all came crashing down on me emotionally, my friend gently reminded me that "God's got this and You".
I am unable to help emotionally and even if I was physically living in the area, I am still unable to change the actions of another person. After all, God gave all of us freewill.
So, here I sit in Tennessee watching my phone, and reading text messages or emails not sure when the next round of bad news is going to come through. It has not been all bad news, some good things have happened in the midst of the chaos and I know God is working on all of those involved in this ugly situation.
Some days I am able to handle the messages that come to me. Some days I am completely unable to handle the news and I fall apart (This includes crying, lashing out and texting my friends to just pray and I don't even know what to pray for.)
I don't like myself very much right now because I hate feeling helpless and saying "I don't know" when asked about these situations.
Yes, I am weak and I panic and I flip out and I have meltdowns. I am human and I care too much for a situation that is out of my hands.
I am being wide open with you today to show you how vulnerable that all of us can be on a daily basis. I have learned a lot of things in my personal journey back to faith and a relationship with God. But I am guilty of calling friends first, instead of turning to God first.
I write all this to urge you to choose prayer over panic and handle things much better than I do. Right now, these days, I am not a very good example of what I should be doing. I am working hard every day to make the right choices for my life but I also fail miserably every day at something.
So, In closing I ask you to lift up a friend going through a struggle (whether you know about it or not) and believe in them when they are done believing in themselves.
Find ways to be a light to those going through a dark period and always
offer help if you can. If you need assistance please call the hotline at
1-800-799-7233 or call 911 for immediate danger situations.