Thursday, September 18, 2014

Picture Perfect: Don't fall for it!

Do you keep a 'face' on for the public and even some of your closest friends so they won't know what is truly going on?

Do you go through the motions of day to day even though you are crying inside and feel so alone that you think you have no one you can share your biggest fears/frustrations with?

I have been there.  The last 2 1/2 years of my most recent marriage were such a farce that few knew the truth until I blurted it out at Pampered Chef party in my home February of 2011. Even my daughter who was living with me part of that time didn't know how bad things were until she found me crying one night after a late shift.

I was ashamed of the things my husband was doing behind my back and didn't want to tell anyone. My son was across the country and I kept most of it from him until the situation got completely unbearable.

Now I realize that my fear and shame for what the husband was doing to our marriage/relationship was my way of coping with it. But all I really did was cover for him and he did NOT deserve that one bit.  He was cheating on me, hiding money from the family budget and verbally and emotionally abusive during most of the years we were married but he got really nasty and hurtful at the end of the relationship.

I know several people who thrive on what others in the community and church think of them.

If you don't share your brutal, ugly reality that you are living with, how on earth do you expect to get help or expect others to pray for your situation if you don't tell them you are struggling?

I have learned this lesson over and over and most recently through things my son is going through and other family members health concerns as well.  I was keeping myself as a barrier between them all and that wall broke on Saturday night when I truly opened up with both sides that I thought I was protecting.

I still hate to hear people complain, but it is ok to confide in a friend or few friends when you need some guidance.  Go to your knees in prayer first before posting on facebook about your troubles. God is bigger than all our circumstances and he is not ruled by them at all.

Be honest and be real and those that truly are in your circle will appreciate it. No one believes a perfect picture and they respect the honesty.

Take care of yourself, enjoy these fall days ahead and always seek help if you need it. Share this number with your friends 1-800-799-7233 so they can get the help they need too!