Monday, May 5, 2014

Never Give Up

Never Give Up is a phrase that means several things to me personally.
It is my team name for my direct sales business, It is our team name for our Relay for Life Team here in Dickson, TN and it is a phrase that got me through the past few years of my failing marriage like a candle in a far away house on a hill.

Right now I am dealing with a bit of disappointment because I did not hit a huge goal I was working on. I was aiming to hit 2 levels of leadership in my direct sales company this past week. I hit the first goal with flying colors and that in itself I owe all to God for guiding me and blessing me and my team and our shows and events in the month of April. For that I am overwhelmingly humbled that I have come this far.

I got recognition and applause for hitting the first level and for that I am thankful. I have to work even harder this month to repeat the sales and sponsoring levels to hit the next step in the leadership levels our company recognizes and celebrates.  My team is new to the company and some are new to direct sales in general. There are days I don't even know what to say to motivate myself much less my growing team.

I say all this to show you and share with you just how vulnerable I truly am. I may be 'over' most of the pain and hurt of the divorce and all the garbage that goes along with it, but I still deal with it when I least expect it.  Sunday afternoon, I was hit with a big ball of realization that no matter what my title is or who I sit with at church, I am still alone when services are over and it brought me to tears and I cried myself to sleep on a Sunday afternoon.

I have many dreams and goals for my life and what I want to do to help other women who have suffered abuse in all its forms by men they vowed to stand beside 'til death do us part'. I want all of you to know that I am still standing and kicking on the other side of a final divorce decree and I have a great church family. Even though I have been a member there almost 2 years now, I am very slow to share my true pain with very many of them.

I dream of having my own apartment, my own place to decorate and crash at night when I don't want to talk to anyone. I dream of having friends over for Dr. Who marathons or Star Trek movie night and hopefully even having my grandchildren spend the night for a pizza/movie night one day all at my own place that I pay the bills on.

For now, I live with my parents who graciously put up with me and I try to stay out of everyone's way. I am writing this from my room (aka "My sanctuary") with the light on and the TV off cause I crave and need the silence instead of the noise.

I pray daily for guidance and words to say to my customers, my team and those around me because there are days when I just don't have the words to say. All I know at the end of the day right now is that God Loves me, My children and grandchildren know I love them and I will always be a phone call away if they need to talk or just need a shoulder.

I promised two little small children in 1993 that I would not give up on them and that promise has evolved into a promise to myself to "Never Give Up" the dreams I have for my business and for my life. God sent his only son to die for my sins and yours on that cruel cross, therefore who am I to think that I should give up the fight because I had a rough day.  Jesus gave it all and all to him I owe.

So Please, take my phrase and apply it to your own life and your own challenges and promise your self that you will Never Give Up on yourself. You are worth fighting for! 
If you are in Dickson, TN and want a friend to have coffee with, just send me a message. I am here to listen.

Be Safe and call 1-800-799-7233 to get help and resources for your situation. You are Loved!!