Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Skeletons

Everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet. These are things they have done and had to live with and overcome throughout their lives. 

You can choose to hate them, despise them and let them fester and hover over your life now and your future or you can pull them out and deal with them, face them head on and ask for forgiveness and ask God to help you get over whatever they are.

I heard someone say over the weekend that they hate the skeletons in their family. I looked up and said, well everyone has skeletons in their closet whether they admit it or hide it.  This person just shook their head and said they hate the fact that these issues still haunt them.  I feel sorry for this person because they are convinced that someone else's issues causes them pain today.

I am fully aware that sometimes the children in a family carry forward some of the same traits or tendencies of their ancestors. But I also know that each generation has the choice and duty to put a stop to the past and start fresh.

I find myself over thinking situations when I was a single parent and will often ask my adult children their opinion of the situation. Both of them usually say something along the lines of, "Mom, you did the best you could with what you knew at the time".  I usually apologize for whatever the situation was and tell them how much I think I messed up.

I know I have messed up a lot over my lifetime but I have always tried to do the right thing and fix the wrongs I knew about at the time. 

I refuse to spend my days and future looking back at my past. I have pulled out all my skeletons and buried them properly. I am determined to look forward and know that God forgave me for all my sins as I asked for his forgiveness and if He chose to forgive me, then who am I to withhold forgiveness from myself.  We often are the hardest on ourselves. 

So, take a few minutes and say a prayer and forgive yourself and love yourself and know that God Loves You, yes You!

If you are in danger, call 911!
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Friday, April 25, 2014

Staying Thankful in Stressful Situations

Stress comes at us from every direction. You can get stressed at home, work, church and yes even while driving to and from any of those places.

When I have a lot of work to get accomplished and the computer system is down, I get frustrated and stressed out. Yes I am upset about this happening but I cannot change it by complaining or griping. This lesson in peace took me a long time to learn. 

When I get stuck in backed up traffic, I get frustrated and look for ways around the accident if possible. Usually, I have to remind myself to stay in peace and just wait it out.  Yesterday, I was nearly side-swiped by a white cargo van who was not paying attention when they were merging into traffic. Thankfully, I was able to move into the other lane to avoid this driver. Most folks will admit that driving is one of the most stressful things they do every day. I have a 45 minute commute to and from work Monday thru Friday and I am on the road a lot. Choose peace and calm and you will get through the traffic slow downs.  I am sure your family and friends would rather you get there in one piece than to rush and get into an accident and be hurt.

When money is tight and you are waiting on payday to hit your bank account, it is stressful every way you turn. That is usually when everyone is giving you a deadline and you may be tempted to lash out at someone when it is really not their fault you are upset.  Today I have a lot of things going on but I was happily surprised to be offered leftovers from a dinner so that I chose to see that as a blessing of a free lunch today when money is so very tight. Choose to see the blessings!!!!

Bottom line of all these examples is that you can complain, gripe and fuss loud as possible but your griping and complaining does not change a single thing. In fact, talking about brings attention to it and brings others around you down.  Human nature is to complain and misery really does want others around to be miserable too.  A negative person cannot stand to be around a positive person, so choose what you say and who you hang around with and you will so surprised at what you can accomplish when you choose to stay thankful and positive in light of garbage coming at you.

Staying thankful is a challenge every day and sometimes every hour, but I assure you the habit is worth forming. When you do something for 21 days straight it becomes a habit and eventually it will become the 'norm' for you.

#stress #stressful #situations #choices #thankful #habits #frustration #blessings

I hope each of you reading this have a blessed weekend and see the blessings around you. Call for help if you need it 1-800-799-7233

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Everyday Fears

On the outside I appear like a normal functioning person at work and when I am out in public. But I have a secret to share, I have lots of fears everyday that constantly nag at me like a very annoying mosquito while I am sleeping.

What am I afraid of today?
I startle when I see Red Pickup Trucks until I realize it is not a Dodge Ram Pickup.
I still do double-takes when I see an old white Plymouth Satellite driving by or parked in a driveway.
I avoid certain fast-food restaurants because I don't want to run in to his old girlfriends or co-workers.
I avoid certain gas stations to avoid other friends of his that I do not wish to have contact with.
I have him and his friends/contacts all blocked on social media so they cannot see me and so I am not forced to see what they are doing or hanging out with.
I am afraid people from 12 years ago will recognize me and ask about him because we looked so happy together.


What have I been afraid of all my life?
I have always been afraid of being left out or being made fun of.
I am afraid I didn't do enough to raise my children the right way as a single parent.
While I miss lots of people that are no longer here, I wonder who will miss me when I am gone.
I am afraid to be nice to people because they may turn on me or use my good intentions.
I was afraid to tell people that my dad is a minister and how proud of him I am.


I was the geeky kid with glasses from 3rd grade that didn't fit in. When we had to fill out that paper in 5th grade telling what our parents did for a living (for a career unit) I made the mistake of listing the department my father worked for (Mental Health and Mental Retardation) and for a year or two was told that my parents felt sorry for me and adopted me from a mental hospital. It was hurtful and constant daily verbal bullying that I put up with because my parents told me it wasn't true and just ignore it.

In junior high, I only had a small circle of friends that truly knew me well enough to know my sister's names and just how ill my grandfather was. When my grandfather passed in 1984, it was my first time dealing with death of a relative. I sat and cried in PE class for apparently no reason the last 3 weeks my grandfather lived. We spent the weekdays at school and my weekends were in Lewisburg staying with my aunt and uncle so mom could be there with her dad. I qualified for a Math competition at the local college but because of family illness and my grandfather's funeral, I did not get to attend that year. I am glad I chose family that time over school and accomplishments.

I was a relatively smart student and kept A/B honor roll most of the years in Junior High and Senior High. I was constantly compared to others and told why couldn't I be like them and this constant verbal message has followed me to where I am today. I have been told I will never be good enough and sometimes on some issues, I just quit trying.

Then we have the verbal, mental and physical abuse from the now ex1 and ex2. I have a lot of fears but I also have a lot to stand up and shout about. My God has delivered me from depression, oppression and all the verbal and mental abuse of my past. My God has never left my side and even when I was crying myself to sleep last month, He was right there wiping my eyes and holding me.

I share all of this with you to say that if God can love this broken 43 year old mom and grandmother in spite of all her faults and constant 'messing up', then I can assure you that God loves you and stands ready to hug you when you come to him. It doesn't matter if you walk, run or crawl, but go to Him and He will give you rest.  When I lay all my troubles, worries, fears and mess at his feet, I feel so much lighter and relieved.

I am praying for all who read my articles and hope you will choose God over the world and trust God to carry you through anything you face. If you are in a dangerous situation, there is help! Call the Domestic Violence Hotline today 1-800-799-7233.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Sundays

On the ride to work this morning I heard a local DJ speak about the upcoming Easter Sunday as though it was a Spiritual SuperBowl for our faith. 

While I understand his enthusiasm for his faith, I do not personally agree with the statement. I was raised in the Church of Christ and we did not place any specific reverence on any Sunday over any other Sunday. I recall hearing classmates speaking about special services for Communion Sunday and Sunrise Services for Easter and had to go home and ask my dad what these things were. 

In the Church of Christ we had Communion every Sunday according to the commandments in Luke during the last supper when Jesus broke bread with the Apostles before he was forsaken. In Luke 22, after breaking the bread, Jesus told the Apostles to "remember me in this way".

We didn't even call Easter Sunday by the name Easter and we got new Spring dresses not Easter outfits. There was no dinner on the ground or Sunrise Service although there were a lot of visitors on Easter as well as the Sunday closest to Christmas.

After much thought during my workday, I chose to post this on the facebook page from the morning show I listen to. The DJ had asked if his listeners had any special plans for Easter and I simply answered.  I know it won't be popular and it will not get any likes but I am done hiding my faith and beliefs. 

"My family has never done anything different on Easter Sunday than every other Sunday during the year. We go to church, have lunch and go home. Making a big deal out of one specific Sunday on the calendar makes no sense to me. We should celebrate the Resurrection Every Sunday that the Lord sends until he returns. Lots of pews will be full this Sunday with folks that won't be back until Christmas and that has always made me very sad. You can't get a relationship with someone 2 Sundays a year."

I realize today's article was not related to healing but it was true to my beliefs and my upbringing. I continue to pray for your safety if you are in a dangerous situation and look forward to reading your comments.

Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-334-4628. 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Walls

A wall is a structure that defines an area, carries a load, or provides shelter or security.

Walls can keep you inside or keep you outside. They have been defined as boundaries and forms of protection for centuries.

At times in the past 8 years of my life I have allowed my own home to be my prison and depression and fear were the prison guards that held me captive.

Thankfully I have recovered from the depression but I do not believe it truly leaves you alone. I constantly fight against the negative thoughts in my head that tell me I cannot do anything worthwhile or that I am not important to anyone.

Do you know the story of Jericho?  Joshua 6:1-20 is the story of how Joshua and the Army followed God's direction and felled the walls of Jericho by walking and shouting! This is an amazing story of how when we follow God's direction, we truly can bring down walls.

In the words of my pastor, it is now the time to shout and bring down your walls and hold fast to your faith. We know what great things our God can do, we just have to trust him to do what he can do on his timetable.

Be sure and Shout at your Walls today and I pray they come down and you are safely on the other side!

If you have questions or need options for your particular situation, please call National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Stop the Noise

A couple of weeks ago, I was very overwhelmed with life, business, work and worry was at the door knocking. I had to stop everything (yes even facebook and texting) to refocus my mind, spirit, and body on what was truly important and what was I going to fight for.  I was mentally and physically tired and my schedule had been overflowing with good things to do and busy things that I chose to do.

A friend called and asked me If I had time for coffee with her one morning and I made time for this 'coffee break' with her.  Once she arrived, I was so relieved to see a friend I could trust and be totally transparent with.  Once she got her coffee and sat down, the first words out of my mouth were, "I should warn you, I am wounded right now".  She sat there smiled and listened and encouraged me in so many ways.

She gave me a verse to look up and think on that morning and 2 weeks later, I am still studying the verse and discovering what it means to me and my journey.

Psalms 46:10 “Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
NASB


As I have mentioned before, I am a 'list-maker' so I made lists of things I spend time doing every day and searched and thought and prayed over my lists so I knew what to do next.  When you make a list with everything you occupy yourself with it is very eye-opening and you will be amazed at what you spend hours doing every week that truly accomplish nothing positive in your life or toward your goals.

I have not stopped working either my job or my business, but I have made the conscious choice that everything I do for 'work' should be as if I am working for the Lord every day and every shift. I also recall a scripture that says if a man doesn't work, then neither should he eat.

2nd Thessalonians 3:10 (KJV)
 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

I enjoy my day job and I love my fun job with my home based business. This is not the format for me to promote my business but you can read all about it if you follow me on facebook. (Yes, I am still there as well, but on a lesser scale.)

Take time for you and take a break from the noise and you will learn a LOT about yourself!

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 is always open to help you. Be safe!