Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Conflict is Everywhere

As human beings in this world, there is truly conflict everywhere.  The only time you will not face conflict is if you live in a mountain cabin miles from everywhere and do not speak to anyone or phone anyone and stay off of facebook, twitter and other social media.  Then you will just have yourself to deal with  and that is usually pretty easy to deal with.

But how do you truly handle conflict? Do you spend days, weeks, months griping and complaining about a situation at work or do you approach your supervisor and ask how to fix the situation?  If you have a conflict or disagreement with your child's teacher or the school administrator do you go to facebook and tell it on a county concerns page or do you deal with it privately and lots of prayer?

Remember, everything you do and say is heard and seen by your children and their friends and other people you associate with.  I know when I was going through the worst of my recent separation and divorce I had a certain few people that I could truly "let it all out" around and I have others in my life that I chose to put on a fake smile and say, "I am ok and things are getting better".  I did my best to keep it off of facebook and I am thankful today that it is all behind me (the healing is far from over, but the divorce is final).

Our children are innocent and we need to do as much as possible to keep them that way. After my 1st divorce, I did the best I could at not bashing or speaking bad about their father in front of them. It was very difficult at times when there was no child support coming in and I was working two jobs to make ends meet. I am not ashamed to tell you that I often got groceries from my parents house to feed my children. I had many nights where I cried myself to sleep at night because I was alone with two little ones to raise and did not know how on earth I was going to survive.  I usually griped about my situation with my ex at the office where thankfully I had caring co-workers who didn't mind listening and pointed me toward happier things to focus on.

I did not always agree with my child's teachers over the years but I rarely said this to my children. I taught them both to respect authority. There were a couple of teachers I could name even now that were very stressful all year long but I never allowed my child to bash the teacher or the school or stay home cause they had a bad day the day before.  I taught them to do the right thing even when the teacher did not. I will always be thankful for the teachers that blessed me and my children in those years.Thankfully, in most cases, they were blessed by teachers who fed into them the love of learning and lifelong education.

I don't care who the conflict is with, nothing is solved by making it public on social media. You are making yourself look like a chronic complainer/whiner and that is not professional by any definition.  You are inviting others to join in the conflict with you and that makes it a bigger conflict with everyone you tell in confidence because they usually tell 2-3 people as well. 

The Bible tells us to deal with our conflicts with other Christians privately and within the church if at all possible and this way it will be solved quicker in most cases. Consider praying first before sharing your anger with others in the coming days. I pray you are safe today and every day and you have a peaceful Wednesday. Domestic Violence Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)