Sunday, November 3, 2013

Standing up for yourself

I don't know how old you are or if you have ever been told. But you can always say NO to someone that expresses interest in you. You have the choice of who you let touch you and be in your life or circle of friends.

I don't care if you have been dating this guy for 2 days or 2 years, you can always say NO to something they want you to do.

Me personally, I don't like people touching my hair or face. I hated it growing up when my mom had to brush out my hair or would put rollers in my hair on Saturday night so I would have curls for church on Sunday.  It is a struggle to go get my hair done as you can imagine. I just want it over with so I can reclaim my personal space.

Your body is your temple and you are in control of who you allow to touch you. Do not think you have to say yes to anyone to keep them as a friend. If they are pressuring you, constantly asking you to do things you do not want to do, then say no, tell an adult and get away from this person. Do not let them abuse your body and mind by letting them have control.

Are you aware you can set boundaries in your life? You can choose who you speak to, spend time with at any time. We cannot always choose our co-workers or our family but we can choose how we allow them to influence us. I have a co-worker that drives me nearly insane and I have chosen to speak to this person as little as possible and avoid them as much as I can.  I am staying professional when I must deal with them, but I am SO Thankful that this person is not my supervisor.

Usually after a divorce, most parties involved limit their contact because they only deal with each other due to a settlement due or visitation orders with the children.  I have had to put down many boundaries so that I am able to heal and recover from my divorce this year. I expected him to not speak to me after it was over. He is already living with the new girlfriend (has since September 2012), so I saw no reason for him to contact me at all.

He continued to call me or email me just wanting to talk about his newest job or the weather or football.  The last two conversations with him were very odd to me and I guess he was asking for information and attempting to be friendly. But I saw them as invasion of my privacy and had to specifically tell him in an email to not contact me in the future. This was not an easy decision but it has allowed me to move forward because I did not have him influencing me or my life decisions.

Life is never easy and I do not have all the answers. I too am healing from abuse, divorce, anger and all things associated with starting your life over. The one thing I do know, is that God will carry you through if you only ask him to help you, guide you and lead you.  You must reach out to him in prayer every day to seek his guidance.

Blessings to each of you reading and I pray you stand up for yourself and set boundaries. This is a crucial part of healing.

If you need to reach a local shelter or the Domestic Violence Help Line, Please visit