I have often heard the phrase "Children are a gift of the Lord" and I found a verse in Scripture that reflects this thought. Numbers 18:6
Look it up and read it.
To me, that phrase has always meant that God Gifted us with children to bless us. I totally believe children are a blessing. That does not mean that it is easy to raise children. Children are gifted to us to bless us and change us and teach us lessons we would not learn any other way unless it came from the heartfelt words of a 3 year old.
When I remember the days when my children were small, I often recall the busy days when I rushed home from work to whisk them off to the store and get errands run and finally get home by 7 p.m. at night. I often didn't want to hear the same stories over and over again but I had promised my teenage self that I would listen to my children so they never felt ignored or unimportant.
It was not easy to hear the stories of Scooby-Doo or how many times Brian spilled his drink at Nana's while I was away at work. I often felt left out and horrible because of all the days I spent working while my mom got to spend the days with my children. She would call when they walked, talked or did something new. I often felt inferior because I was not there to witness the achievements my children were making as they were learning about the world around them.
I would come home from work exhausted and mentally tired because I had given my all to the tasks of the day and trying to keep the office running. I was an administrative secretary in the day time and a mom at night. When the kids started school, the guilt got much worse because the teachers rarely took the time to understand what it meant to be a single parent. I was in constant contact with my kids teachers and one child rarely had issues while the other constantly faced challenges.
I would find a dear friend in my son's third grade teacher and to this very day we are friends. She was able to help me get him diagnosed with ADD back in the day and help me to see there were ways to help my son be the best he could be. I will forever be indebted to this teacher for her open heart and wisdom!
My two small children kept me moving forward and gave me a reason to get up and go to work and school every day. I could not bail on my kids because I was all they had left in this mean old world. My parents helped me tremendously in raising and caring for my children. But every day, I looked into Kourtney and Brian's eyes and I did my best to teach them right from wrong and the difference between need and want. I made sure they were in church and Scouts as much as humanly possible as well.
My children are now grown with children of their own. I pray I made the right decisions and gave them guidance along the way. I also know that I learned much from my children because they are much more forgiving than I am.
This blog is for them because I want them to know that Mom survived because she had them to live for and I am so proud of who they have grown up to be!