I have thought about this for years.
And I have decided that yes, when your spouse has an affair he is abusing your relationship in many ways.
They are choosing to expose their bodies to potential diseases and bringing them home to you (until you find out about the affair). This is an ugly fact but please understand it truly is abuse.
When they spend time, energy, money, and their bodies with others outside of the marital relationship, they are cheating you of everything they vowed to give you on your wedding day.
Both of my ex husbands cheated on me. I am not proud of this fact, in fact, for years I was ashamed of it and did not speak about it with anyone. My first ex husband had one major affair that I know of and he married her after I divorced him in 1993.
I remarried in 2002 and thought I had found someone who respected me, was devoted to me and would help me raise my children, go to church with me and grow old with me.
Unfortunately, I was wrong again. He would have his first affair within a year of making wedding vows to me and I honestly do not know how many affairs/flings he had and at this point in my life and healing, I do not want to know anymore. I had my suspicions of certain friends and situations, but until today, I had no idea how much it would hurt to find out the truth from so many years ago.
I am thankful I had the strength, courage and faith in GOD to put a line in the sand and walk away from the marriage and file for divorce earlier this year.
Abuse hurts the victim, the children and the family and friends around the victim. 1 in 4 people are victim of domestic violence. This is an epidemic and we must raise awareness by sharing our stories and helping others (and ourselves) heal in the process.
I have often heard in many sermons that you as a Christian do not have a testimony until you get through the test, so I urge you to tell your story!! Your testimony is not for you to keep hidden in a diary, it is for you to share to help another person heal!
I wish you all the best tonight and wish you a peaceful Sunday tomorrow. If you have a church home, great! If you don't, please research your area, and find a place that feeds your soul and get involved!!