Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Where do we draw the Line?

Where do we draw the Line?

An 8 year old boy gets picked on in the lunchroom. No one sees it. The boy tells his mom, who reports it to the school. The school does an investigation and believes the bully that the victim started it. The school closes the investigation and nothing is really done to the bully.

What has this beginner bully learned?
What has this little victim learned?

Same bully at the age of 12 sees his older sisters being very mean and hurtful to another girl they both do not like.  No one is there to draw the line and stand up for the girl being picked on. The older girls who should be an example for good, are never reprimanded for their behavior. The bully learns to pick on others and that girls do it to, so it must be okay.

Same bully gets braver on the school bus and pinches the fat girl and then starts laughing at her because the big kids on the bus are doing it as well.  No one stands up for these victims.
What has the bully learned?
What has the victim learned?

Same bully is at a community dinner and sees older kids in the popular group (that he wants to be a part of) picking on each other, putting things in each other’s food and being mean and hurtful, harsh and hateful with their words to each other.  Then when an adult steps in and tries to stand up for the one being picked on, the kids and adults (who are supposed to be in charge) laugh at the defender and tell her to ‘chill out’.  The adult who tried to help is told that if no one really got hurt, what does it matter? And to let the kids be kids.

Now this bully has learned from his peers and adults:
How to be meaner and hurt others in a group
It’s okay to be mean to your siblings
Adults will not say a word and they will laugh
No punishment occurs
He has learned that to keep hurting others is acceptable behavior.

Bully is now 19 at community college. He sees ‘his girl’ talking to another boy and gets angry.  So he grabs the girl and drags her into a stairwell to have a chat.  Then he slams her against the wall and questions who she was talking to and why.  He also threatens her with his pocket knife and jokingly tells her that he could trip her down the stairs and break something if she doesn’t behave.

Wait, here comes a teacher…. Mr. C says, “Move along now, none of that mushy stuff!”
So the bully and the young lady are escorted back to the hallway and told to get to class.

The girl is bruised, scared and frightened.  But she is also stuck. The bully is her ride home and home is 30 minutes away.  She doesn’t want to tell her mom, so she does nothing and wears long sleeves to cover the new purple bruises coming up on her arm and shoulder.

Abuse has won another day!! We have to put a stop to this….

If you need to reach a local shelter or the Domestic Violence Help Line, Please visit