Monday, October 28, 2013

Surviving abuse and Isolation

Some days you just survive and pray you get up for another day. This is okay for a little while but eventually you will want more for your future.

I found relief in the years in Panama by spending time with other military wives that I was stationed with. I found ways to spend time with them and get out of the house in ways that were not threatening to my first husband.

When my best friend in Panama needed to run errands over near where I lived, she usually called me and picked me and the baby up so we could just get out of the house. In a small way, I was jealous because she had a Panamanian driver's license and knew more Spanish than I did. We had a lot of fun in those days and even then, I still did not tell her that I was being knocked around when I disagreed with my husband.  I was afraid to tell her because I didn't want to lose my best friend overseas.

Once I was able to figure out that my husband was not going to change, something told me to start saving every dollar I could get my hands on. So when my mom sent me money in the cards and letters (every 2 weeks or so) in 1991, I started saving the money in a ziploc bag that was hidden in the bottom of a baby wipe box in the bottom of the diaper bag. This worked as great camouflage for the money because my first husband rarely changed my children's diapers.

I went through a long period of feeling helpless and not knowing where I would turn next, but God never gave up on me. I also would find out much later that my parents, sister and other family members and friends were praying for me to either come home or for my safety.  This was both humbling and gave me peace.  God was watching out for me even when I wasn't going to church. Prayer changes everything and I will be forever thankful to all of the family and friends who prayed me through those very ugly years in my past.

If you need to reach a local shelter or the Domestic Violence Help Line, Please visit, pray for those around you and reach out to those who need a friend. You may be the lifeline they are praying for. #abuse #pray #help