Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Remember your Victories

Abused women have been through horrific things that they wish they could erase from their memories. They often have nightmares for years as well. I am here to tell you that all of that will go away with time, healing and prayer. Up until about 6 years ago, I was still having the occasional nightmare from my first marriage. I would wake up,  look around and be SO thankful that I was not in that situation any longer. I am scarred but I am not damaged goods. God loves us even when the person we are living with cannot stand the ground we walk on.

No matter what we do, God will always be there and God will always have his arms outstretched for you.

This took me a long time to learn and believe because I am hard-headed and believe the lies that society and the Enemy has out there for us to hear.  Verbal abuse comes from a person wishing to hurt and control you. Abuse does not come from God and he does not approve of it. For at least 10 years, I considered myself someone's trash and unworthy of a true friend or relationship. I took all the verbal abuse from my first marriage and I believed it.

I always felt the tug of God on my life and sometimes I reached for God and sometimes I did not. I must be honest here and tell you that I went back to church on a regular basis around the year 2000 because I wanted my children to be in the church and I wanted them to know God and see me in church with them. My parents always took them to church if the kids spent the Sunday or Wednesday with them, so I didn't have that hurdle to jump. Mentally, it was very difficult to walk into a church building of any kind knowing what I knew about myself and what I had been through. I hated myself and the fact that I put up with all the abuse for as long as I did. I also knew deep down in my heart and mind that God loved me no matter what.

I know life is not easy when you are making giant changes in your life to improve your future.  Whether you have a job and just need to move out on your own, or you are without a job and need to ask family to help you get on your feet, You can do all of these things. Pray first and then proceed! God is with you, God is with all of us, no matter how deep the ocean is or how dark the tunnel may be. God is there with you!

I learned in 2005 while reading Success Principles by Jack Canfield, to make a victory list.  A victory list is a list of things, or activities you have accomplished in your lifetime.  These things include finishing elementary school, earning a ribbon at field day, First Communion or Confirmations, earning Girl Scout, Cub Scout or Boy Scout Badges or Awards. This includes every single accomplishment you have ever done. I want  you to include graduating High School, starting college and graduating college if you did those things. I want you to include moving into your first apartment, buying your first vehicle, include everything you have done! Nothing is too small.

Now keep your Victory List in your bag, car or at your office so you can refer to it on a rough day or when you think, you just cannot come up with another proposal for the Boss. You can do it! Look at how far you have come and what God has brought to pass for you so far!  The best is yet to be!!

When the Enemy comes at you with all the things you think you cannot do, read to him your victory list and see and hear what you have accomplished. Then get your Bible out and read God's promises for you and your life.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

If you need to reach a local shelter or the Domestic Violence Help Line, Please visit