Sunday, October 27, 2013

Freedom - What does this word mean to me?

The word freedom conjures up visions of flag waving parades, soldiers returning from war zones and salutes of all kinds. I am an Army Mom, former Army wife and very patriotic person. But I am not referring to political or even religious freedom.

Freedom means that I no longer have to look over my shoulder wondering if I am being watched or followed by an ex-husband in the town I live in.  I actually set the time I went to the grocery store depending on his work schedule back in the 1990's.

Freedom means that I can get up and go where I want to go with who I want to and not have to answer for it later. Freedom also means that I am free to stay home, watch tv or take a nap if I choose to.  I don't have to ask permission to go anywhere or spend money that I earned.

Freedom also means I can attend church where I choose and spend my time with those I want to. Both of my ex-husbands kept me from attending church or placing membership where I wanted to attend. That will not happen in the future.

When you are in a controlling relationship, that person controls every aspect of what you do, say, where, and who you spend your time with. My first husband controlled every thing I did. I was not allowed to have people visit our quarters on base if it was not his idea. If he decided that one of my friends was not good for me, he forbade me from spending time with them. And sometimes I listened to him and let him sever relationships that would never be mended.

My second husband seemingly on the surface was not a jealous person. In fact, he verbally allowed me to do anything I wanted to.  But he always wanted to know where I was and when I would be home.  It was his idea for me to join PartyLite Gifts (a direct sales company) but over the 10 years I have been with the company, he would expect a list of my calendar/events/shows so that he always knew where I was and when I would be home.

What I realized as time went on, was that every time he pushed me to go and spend time somewhere, and even encouraged me to spend the night at a show out of town, he only wanted me away so he could have a girlfriend over for a visit. I was blinded by the fact that it appeared he supported my business, but I know now without a doubt that it was all a lie.

I am so very thankful to be free of him and his cheating and lying. To me this is freedom! I don't have to ask his permission to do anything and this year I have bought all my own flights and travel arrangements.  My life situation is not exactly how I envisioned it for my 43rd year of life, but all in all, I am Free to be a Mom, Mimi and Candle Lady the way I choose to be.

Make a choice every day to be free! Read your Bible every day and ask God to speak to you. I suggest all women read Proverbs. For example, today is the 27th of October, so start with Proverbs 27 and read it through and pray about what you read.  Do this over and over and you will learn so much!

Prayers and peace to all of you today!

If you need to reach a local shelter or the Domestic Violence Help Line, Please visit