Sunday, August 20, 2017

July 2012 vs August 2017

5 years and a month

That is so much time and yet, so little time.  It is truly all perspective.

Recovery, forgiveness of others and myself, letting things go and learning what really matters to me at this point in my life have all been part of the process. There were many tears shed, and laughter along the way and many loving friends who had a hand in guiding me through the wilderness I was in. I treasure each of you so very much!!

Learning, Loving, Study, Growth (personal and professional) and many other things have occurred over these past years.

I learned to take chances again, trust myself and others and learned what unconditional love is.

There are some in my life that know and exhibit this unconditional love. There are many who have no idea what I am talking about and look at me like I have lost my mind when I say that phrase. Sadly, that is their loss.

I have learned which friends are only in word only and which friends will go the distance to support you at the darkest and brightest hours of your life.  Some jump in without a second's thought to help and some say they will be there, yet rarely show up. I do my best not to hold it against them personally, but it does hurt my feelings when plans are made and broken.

Yes, We are in the midst of wedding planning, wedding attire has been ordered or sent to the tailor for alterations, rings are being sized and blessed, cake knife and server has been borrowed, cake flavors have been tasted and approved, agreements signed, notarized and filed away until needed.

Yes, there are decisions not made yet, but the big stuff is set and planned for. We both are very excited for this next chapter to begin in our lives.

I realize that I started this blog to help others and to share my story. I learned a while back to be transparent and tell it like it is here in the blog. Some of you have never met me in person, so all you know of me is what you see on social media and here in the blog.

Don't be judgmental, even now, you really don't know me and if you are ready to tell me off for getting re-married or having a healthy relationship, then we truly are not on the same page. I hope you get through your anger/bitterness and can find a way to be joyful for others instead of angry at them for moving on.

I have never claimed to be anything other than myself (a Christian trying to live right and share my recovery from abusive marriages). I truly do my best to tell it like it is and not leave anything out (except maybe names).

I do encourage you to be a blessing to others and not be a Negative Nelly!
You can do well to encourage others and choose to be a blessing every day in some way.
The number for the Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 and while I hope you never have to use it, it is there if you do need it.

Be the Love you want to see in the world!

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Setting a Date

Last weekend was full of decisions and discussions and date setting.

Yes!!
David and I set the wedding date for 9.9.2017

We are planning a small local service and reception afterwards at the house.
This week has been full of planning, phone calls, online chats, filling out release forms and getting counseling forms completed and notarized.

We are both emotional and we are both very excited for the next chapter of our lives together.

We have been together for 2 1/2 years and decided it was time to make the next step a reality. This way we can take care of each other in our older years should something happen.

So in the words of a Muppet Song
"Somebody's Getting Married!!!"

I have talked to my family and he has talked to his immediate family and everyone has be invited/notified.

There will be traditional pieces and there will be items /parts of the ceremony that are uniquely David and I.

Much love to all of you and I hope you are all doing well.

Do not ever let anyone hurt you or keep you down. The good Lord knows I allowed it to happen much too long. I survived to tell you that you will make it on the other side of abuse! There is freedom for you and your children. Love you and all you do.

Share a story, email me at mlcandles23@gmail.com
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I would love to hear from those that the blog helps and encourages.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Tune-Ups

We all know that if we don't maintain our vehicles with oil changes and tune-ups now and then, they will eventually stop working at efficient levels and need repairs that are very expensive.

So, why do we as adults, put off going to the doctor to maintain our bodies and stay as healthy as possible?

For me, I have always hated going to the doctor or dentist because I was afraid of what they would find and how I would pay for the appointments, tests and other expenses.

I could tell you of the summer of 2014 when I finally went to the dentist after years of not going. I had to have at least one tooth pulled and a few fillings that summer. I waited until I had insurance and a payment plan to cover it. In the mean time, I ate on one side and just dealt with the pain.

When I left my job with the State of TN in July of 2016, I left my insurance as well.

So I have gotten by, self-medicated and worked through issues best I could even visiting the community clinic for those without insurance in the mean time.

Anyway, I finally got two things accomplished today. I took my car in to get recall work done and I took myself to the doctor for some issues I was having with my ankle and my sleep apnea.

Now I have medicine, new diet suggestions to follow and another appointment in 2 months. I am not happy with what the doctor said, but I will buckle down and take care of myself even without salt in my life.

So today was tune-up day for my car and myself.

 I also have been working on my crochet projects and trying to figure out which colors to use together to make a blanket for the bed. This is a big project and I don't want to get bored with it and not finish it.

I need to hear from those that read the blog, so If you read this, send me a message whether you like what I talk about or not. If you want to hear about my businesses (I have 3 direct sales companies I work with ) or just coping with life in general.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Back to School, August and Birthdays

This weekend in Tennessee is tax-free weekend on most things people can purchase in stores. So Friday at the bank, most of the business owners were anticipating being busy and in turn, keeping us busy as well.

Friday's are crazy since we are open later than normal, but the three of us got through the chaos that is Friday in a small town.

School starts in my county on Tuesday, August 1st. Many families are focused on the school supply list, making the most of the last weekend of summer vacation and some are just getting by.

Pray for the teachers, substitutes, administrators, safety officers, crossing guards and our students of all ages heading back to school. I have many teachers on my friends list and a few teachers in my immediate and extended family. I know they have a lot going on as well.

First of all, be kind!!!

August 1st is my grandmother's birthday. I miss her terribly and think of her all the time. I have often told David that he and she would have had a fun time in the kitchen and I am certain she would have liked him.

August also means Nikolai's Birthday is close too. He will be 6 years old on August 10th. His birthday party is next weekend and I look forward to celebrating him with the family. He has brought us so much joy and good memories. He will be starting first grade this week and it seems just like yesterday that he was starting to walk. Children grow up so fast and I for one am so thankful for facebook, instagram and all the pictures on my phone and those my daughter has taken as well. I love every memory with him and all my grandchildren.

Be sure and love on the ones you have with you, you never know when they will be called home.

I had my first live in-home Jewelry Bar on the 22nd. As of a couple hours ago, the party has hit $750 in sales. I am so happy for my host that receives $187 in free jewelry, 3 half price items and can buy the host exclusive for 75% off. Want to see more Origami Owl? Just visit maryannw.origamiowl.com and let me know if I can help you in any way.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Getting along with people

Not sure how many people realize this about me, but here goes anyway (will show who reads this blog and who doesn't LOL).

I do not like being the center of attention.
I am not a fan of public speaking.
I do not like being the center of attention
and I hate being sung to in a restaurant for my birthday (just ask my family- I will walk out!)

I have become a home-body of sorts in my mid-40s. Nothing wrong with this at all. Just learning it about myself and being comfy with the facts.

David and I are not married but we care for each other deeply, take care of the house together, solve problems together and face this old world as a united, committed couple.

Do we agree on everything? NOPE
He is more laid back and easy going, where I am usually key-up, upset and the one who will spazz first.

We both tend to worry about things, then we talk it out, mull it over, do what we can to fix/change it and then we each handle it in our own way.

I used to have close girl friends that I talked stuff over with on a daily basis. Sadly for me those days are gone.  I miss Tiffany so much it hurts some days when I just want to cry.

I have had a rough couple of days at work and it shows. All I wanted to do after work was curl up in a ball, cry, have a pity party and fall asleep on the couch. Well, David was playing words with friends on my phone and needed help finding a word, so I got up off the couch and helped him.

David has his own troubles going on and things he stresses about but he is a guy and keeps them inside his head most of the time. I love him so much and want to help, but these are issues I am unable to fix for him. These are things that just have to work themselves out in time.

The conclusion for my issues the past two days are as follows:
Grin and Bear It
Put on my PartyLite face and deal with it
Ignore the ones who are pretending to be the boss
Do my job the best I know how and try to improve
and lastly - Just be kind and loving everyday.

Give back to others and be a shining light my friends!
Keep the number for the shelter and the hotlines close by (put it in your phone) 1-800-799-7233.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Worry & Routine

I come from a long lineage of worriers. I often thought it was just the way my grandmother (aka Mama Mac) was because she was always worried about us girls and how we were doing.

Now that I am a Mimi to 4 boys and 1 girl, I can say  I am a bit of a worrier but I work through it and push it back most of the time.

Like Joyce Meyer says "Worry gets you no where good, it's like sitting in a rocking chair and expecting to go somewhere else by rocking the chair."

I have to stop myself and ask if I am able to fix the situation I am thinking/worrying about and remind my brain again, that I cannot fix it, say a prayer and get on to doing other things that can occupy my time/brain power.

Anything can become routine to someone, paying bills, laundry, dishes, mopping the floor, driving to work and even worrying every day.. just becomes a habit after enough time passes.

You can break the cycle by recognizing and choosing to change!

(transparent example ahead)
I have been upset with my weight gain for about 8 months now. I have tried not eating, I have cut out sweets/snacks and other things too. Have I done a thing to be more physically active? Not really, other than walking when I can. Even my complaining about my weight has become a habit.

The other day I looked into joining the Y here in town, but just cannot bring myself to spend that money.

The reason I put all thing together in a blog post is that I know I am not the only one who worries about things/situations they cannot fix. I also know that we all have habits we know we need to break and sometimes we need a friend/buddy to keep us accountable to break said habits.

Let's choose to pray and praise and worship more than we worry. Who is with me?

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Getting back to work!!

As I sit here on the couch listening to the booming fireworks tonight, I am annoyed with my neighbors who can't seem to see what time it is or have any consideration for those that have to work tomorrow.

Nothing I can do about it. I won't call the police for fireworks going off, they are needed for more important things in the county/city.

This last week has been so nice!
I got a surprise lunch visit from Denise and got to spend a large part of my Saturday with my friend Stephanie.

My sleep is adjusting to day shift and for that I am so thankful.

If you are in Dickson, Mark your calendars for the 13th of July and the 29th of July to come see me at area vendor events. I have planned event only specials to clear out my inventory of PartyLite.

I want to make room for the Autumn line, so I am selling what I have. Tealights, votives, melts, a couple of jar candles and a few accessories will be available to purchase.

I finally finished the blue/aqua/green crochet project I was working on. Now I am looking to find a group to donate theses small blankets to. I love making them, but have no use for them myself. (unless I send them /give them to the grandkids).

Well, I seem to have rambled on a bit, forgive me if that is not what you wanted to read.
I am full time now and so excited for my future. David and I continue to make plans for the future and  just take care of each other.

Tell those you are with how much you appreciate them. Say thank you! Give them a hug now and then. You never know what they might be dealing with that they don't want to bother you with.

If you are in danger, get out! Call the hotline to find a place to go: 1-800-799-7233