Friday, September 15, 2017

1st week

Both David and I have been peppered with a certain question this week. Honestly I find it curious and would never think to ask a newlywed couple this question.

Both co-workers and friends have asked us "Well, do you feel any different since the wedding?"

I laugh, shake my head and say, no not really every single time.
Still have to get up and go to work, do the laundry and all the other regular daily chores of our lives.

Tomorrow I have several things on my list to get done.
They include, working the Drug Take Back at the Dickson Fairgrounds, going to a friend's birthday dinner and going to find a few things we need this weekend.

Have I told you that I hate, hate, hate shopping and I hate driving in Nashville???

Well, to get your name changed you have to drive 45 minutes in any direction to find an office of the SSA. It's comical really. Here I am, taking off personal paid leave time to go get my name changed and then visit a friend for lunch.

It's my paid time off, but I would rather use it to visit a forest, campground or fishing area. We really need some time off to do some relaxing where we are not consumed by stress about work.

I also have things to return that my friends kindly allowed us to borrow/use during the reception here at the house.

I have been really congested for days now and hoping it subsides soon. This cough just wears me out and I know it makes others around me uncomfortable, but I do what I can to control it.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

It's Official!

Yesterday at 11 am

Several friends and family gathered at the First Presbyterian Church on Main Street in Dickson, TN.

They were there to lend encouragement, cheer us on and pray for us as we had our wedding ceremony.

My grandson Nikolai did great as our Ring Bearer and stood with the bridal party during the ceremony. I have been told he even gave a thumbs up to the guests in the pews during the service.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that attended, sent cards, watched online (my son/his family), texted and supported us yesterday.

We had a few little glitches that made me crazy at the time, but now we laugh about it all.

The wedding cake was beautiful and delicious (designed, baked and decorated by the one and only Kourtney Sadler Souza!)

My now sister-in-law Laura Williams was our caterer-in-charge with my dear friend Denise Claggett as local assistant. Together, the two of them made the reception go off without a hitch.

Two of my dearest friends in the world stood up with me during the ceremony. Tiffany Jackson and Stephanie Taylor, thank you so much for all you did to calm me down, listen to my rants and get me through this past 30 days of craziness. It was all worth it and we need to do dinner /girl's night again soon!!

I did my best to hug every guest at the church and speak to everyone who attended. If I didn't speak to you, I am so very sorry, the miss was not intentional by any means.

Here are a few photos that my sister and other family/friends have shared thus far.





Friday, September 1, 2017

Did You?

Did you stand in line today at a bank?

Did you smile at the teller?

Or did you grump at them to do your deposit or cash your check?

Did you have your account number handy or did you come unprepared and expect them to look up your information, and fill out your counter withdrawal slip for you?

When they struggled to find your account, were you helpful or hateful and refuse to cooperate?

Did you make someone uncomfortable by calling them baby cakes?

Did you say thank you to anyone today?

Today was a crazy day in my life, we were short-handed and though we got through it, it was not always easy to smile at each person because we were so exhausted and just trying to get through the day.

Do you keep your commitments? Do you tell someone you will attend an event and then find a way to squirm out of it because you feel a tiny bit uncomfortable?  How do you think they feel? They thought enough of you to invite you to be with them that day. This type of behavior frustrates me to no end.

If you plan to be somewhere, you find a way to make it there no matter what. You don't scheme with your "bestie" to give you an excuse to get out of something you don't really want to do. You put on your big girl panties and do what you promised. Commitment folks! This is the way it should be!!!

Our rings are ready! I am so excited that most things regarding the wedding are in place and ready to go. Just need to get through a few more days until it is time to say "I DO".

My little TEAM BRIDE is all hands on and between phone calls and texting we have tons of stuff worked out and ready to roll for next weekend.

Pray for each other folks!
Pray for Texas
Pray for those with damage
Pray for those helping those in danger
Pray for the families wondering where loved ones are
Pray for those in hospice care
Pray for the caregivers
Pray for the moms/daughters
Pray for the fathers/sons
Pray for the Dads who miss their kids and for the kids who are missing them.
Pray for the ones grieving the loss of a loved one
Pray for the ones planning a big surprise event

Take care of each other!

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Where is the Happiness?

Where has the happiness gone?

We are caught up in watching the weather/news destruction reports and good neighbor reports coming from South Texas and Louisiana. The devastation is horrible and there is really nothing we can do about it other than volunteer or send money to the victims.

I have been in the midst of planning and initially shared my excitement on social media. However, upon sharing my excitement, I offended some dear friends that live far away and they informed me they felt unwanted and uninvited because they were not advised of the wedding ceremony being planned.

We both were very saddened by this and never meant to leave any one out. We did not want travel to our wedding celebration to become a hardship for anyone, so we only invited family and a few close friends.

All are invited to come and celebrate with us. The ladies at the church have offered assistance even though we have family/friends doing most of the stuff for the wedding. For that I am very happy and thankful more than words can say.

As of yesterday, we are having car issues with his vehicle and hoping the rain subsides so we can get the vehicle towed to the family mechanic.

Stress is high on the last day of the month in 'sales world; Please don't get upset if a sales person calls today to end of month follow up with you. They thought enough of your business to reach out to work with you on their crunch day. Whether, you are buying a truck, candles or jewelry, it all needs to followed up with. I would much rather have a relationship with a friend who happens to sell, than a cold call for a product that I never asked about.

Share the Light and Share the Love guys!
It's all we got.

1-800-799-7233 is the hotline for domestic violence. Don't stay silent, do something!!!

Sunday, August 20, 2017

July 2012 vs August 2017

5 years and a month

That is so much time and yet, so little time.  It is truly all perspective.

Recovery, forgiveness of others and myself, letting things go and learning what really matters to me at this point in my life have all been part of the process. There were many tears shed, and laughter along the way and many loving friends who had a hand in guiding me through the wilderness I was in. I treasure each of you so very much!!

Learning, Loving, Study, Growth (personal and professional) and many other things have occurred over these past years.

I learned to take chances again, trust myself and others and learned what unconditional love is.

There are some in my life that know and exhibit this unconditional love. There are many who have no idea what I am talking about and look at me like I have lost my mind when I say that phrase. Sadly, that is their loss.

I have learned which friends are only in word only and which friends will go the distance to support you at the darkest and brightest hours of your life.  Some jump in without a second's thought to help and some say they will be there, yet rarely show up. I do my best not to hold it against them personally, but it does hurt my feelings when plans are made and broken.

Yes, We are in the midst of wedding planning, wedding attire has been ordered or sent to the tailor for alterations, rings are being sized and blessed, cake knife and server has been borrowed, cake flavors have been tasted and approved, agreements signed, notarized and filed away until needed.

Yes, there are decisions not made yet, but the big stuff is set and planned for. We both are very excited for this next chapter to begin in our lives.

I realize that I started this blog to help others and to share my story. I learned a while back to be transparent and tell it like it is here in the blog. Some of you have never met me in person, so all you know of me is what you see on social media and here in the blog.

Don't be judgmental, even now, you really don't know me and if you are ready to tell me off for getting re-married or having a healthy relationship, then we truly are not on the same page. I hope you get through your anger/bitterness and can find a way to be joyful for others instead of angry at them for moving on.

I have never claimed to be anything other than myself (a Christian trying to live right and share my recovery from abusive marriages). I truly do my best to tell it like it is and not leave anything out (except maybe names).

I do encourage you to be a blessing to others and not be a Negative Nelly!
You can do well to encourage others and choose to be a blessing every day in some way.
The number for the Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 and while I hope you never have to use it, it is there if you do need it.

Be the Love you want to see in the world!

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Setting a Date

Last weekend was full of decisions and discussions and date setting.

Yes!!
David and I set the wedding date for 9.9.2017

We are planning a small local service and reception afterwards at the house.
This week has been full of planning, phone calls, online chats, filling out release forms and getting counseling forms completed and notarized.

We are both emotional and we are both very excited for the next chapter of our lives together.

We have been together for 2 1/2 years and decided it was time to make the next step a reality. This way we can take care of each other in our older years should something happen.

So in the words of a Muppet Song
"Somebody's Getting Married!!!"

I have talked to my family and he has talked to his immediate family and everyone has be invited/notified.

There will be traditional pieces and there will be items /parts of the ceremony that are uniquely David and I.

Much love to all of you and I hope you are all doing well.

Do not ever let anyone hurt you or keep you down. The good Lord knows I allowed it to happen much too long. I survived to tell you that you will make it on the other side of abuse! There is freedom for you and your children. Love you and all you do.

Share a story, email me at mlcandles23@gmail.com
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I would love to hear from those that the blog helps and encourages.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Tune-Ups

We all know that if we don't maintain our vehicles with oil changes and tune-ups now and then, they will eventually stop working at efficient levels and need repairs that are very expensive.

So, why do we as adults, put off going to the doctor to maintain our bodies and stay as healthy as possible?

For me, I have always hated going to the doctor or dentist because I was afraid of what they would find and how I would pay for the appointments, tests and other expenses.

I could tell you of the summer of 2014 when I finally went to the dentist after years of not going. I had to have at least one tooth pulled and a few fillings that summer. I waited until I had insurance and a payment plan to cover it. In the mean time, I ate on one side and just dealt with the pain.

When I left my job with the State of TN in July of 2016, I left my insurance as well.

So I have gotten by, self-medicated and worked through issues best I could even visiting the community clinic for those without insurance in the mean time.

Anyway, I finally got two things accomplished today. I took my car in to get recall work done and I took myself to the doctor for some issues I was having with my ankle and my sleep apnea.

Now I have medicine, new diet suggestions to follow and another appointment in 2 months. I am not happy with what the doctor said, but I will buckle down and take care of myself even without salt in my life.

So today was tune-up day for my car and myself.

 I also have been working on my crochet projects and trying to figure out which colors to use together to make a blanket for the bed. This is a big project and I don't want to get bored with it and not finish it.

I need to hear from those that read the blog, so If you read this, send me a message whether you like what I talk about or not. If you want to hear about my businesses (I have 3 direct sales companies I work with ) or just coping with life in general.